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• Impact of Family Violence on Children

Impact of Family Violence on Children

Children who live in a home where abuse occurs are always affected by it.  Research indicates that abuse in a family may be the single most important risk factor for child maltreatment.  The rate of child abuse or serious neglect in a home where domestic violence is prevalent is 1500% higher than the national average.  Children impacted by domestic violence stand a greater chance of experiencing neglect and more than half are physically abused themselves.

Children need not be present and actually see the abuse to be affected by it.  It is obvious that children who are themselves abused suffer a great deal; however, children who witness the abuse are similarly affected.  They experience abuse when they hear screams and crying, the abuser’s threats, sounds of fists hitting someone or something, glass breaking, wood splintering, and the use of degrading language.

Children also see the consequences of the abuse after it has occurred.  They may observe bruises, torn clothes, broken objects, splintered furniture, holes punched in walls, swollen faces, and puffy eyes.  They perceive the tension and fear of the abuser and do not feel safe. 

Directly or indirectly witnessing the abuse can significantly inhibit children’s physical, cognitive, psychological, and social development.

Impressive data demonstrate that children who live in a battering relationship experience the most insidious form of child abuse. Whether or not they are physically abused by either parent is less important than the psychological scars they bear from watching their fathers beat their mothers. 

~Lenore Walker

Moreover, children are often caught in the crossfire.  Youth frequently believe that they have somehow caused the violence; that if they were good enough it would not have happened or that they could have stopped/prevented the abuse.

Portrait of a Child in a Violent Home

• Reports by mothers who have been abused show that 87% of children witness abuse.

• Because early relationships form the basis for all later relationship experiences, stress associated with violence at an early age may be problematic for a child’s later development. Evidence suggests that, for many children, involvement in aggression and violence as early as age 3 or 4 sets a life course for later violence and criminal activity.

• Among preschoolers who witnessed abuse, researchers found signs of terror as evidenced by the children’s yelling, irritable behavior, hiding, shaking and stuttering.  They often experience insomnia, sleepwalking, nightmares, and bed wetting.

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

Physical Abuse and Neglect: In addition to an increased likelihood of child abuse and neglect, children may be hurt while trying to protect their mother or they may get caught in the crossfire.

Physical Ailments:Children may suffer from stress related physical ailments such as headaches, rashes, ulcers, and autoimmune disorders.

Aggression & Difficulty Interacting with Peers: Some children mimic the aggression and violence they have experienced at home. Other children may become socially withdrawn as a means of keeping themselves safe.

Common Behaviors: Children may suffer from a loss of appetite, nightmares, stranger anxiety, temper tantrums, and bed wetting. Often these children develop learning delays, and speech or hearing problems.

Common Characteristic of Children from Violent Families

The following are common characteristics and behaviors to which children from violent families are prone.  Naturally, not all such children have these characteristics, and many children manage to escape violence as fairly intact individuals.  Also, many of these characteristics may be found in children from homes where there is no physical violence; however, there are certain patterns that strongly indicate experiencing or witnessing violence.

• Withdrawn/apathetic behavior; childhood depression, unsocial, passive, feelings of powerlessness, moody, overly controlled, poor self-concept
• Aggressive/violent behavior: anger, open rage, low frustration tolerance, poorly socialized, difficult to control, low self-esteem
• Shame and humiliation in belonging to a deviant family
• Feelings of guilt and responsibility for family violence
• Stigma: feelings of being different
• Physical fears
• Fear of intimacy: distrustful, armored, vigilant
• Distrustful of males (males and females)
• Identification with aggressor (mostly males)
• Identification with victim (mostly females)
• Confused values: Physical force is viewed as a legitimate means of control (particularly control of women by men).  “Might is right.” “Nice guys finish last.”
• Conflicting and ambivalent feelings and loyalties toward parents: feelings of love/hate for both parents; anger, pity and contempt for the person abused; anger, fear and respect for abusive person.
• Parental child: precocious mothering, role reversal
• Physical problems and complaints
• Learning problems
• Sexual behavior seen as an expression of power and anger rather than of love and tenderness